Social norms (or "what was I thinking?")

I have avoided... Er, neglected this blog for quite some time now. Mostly I've either written things down in actual notebooks, or jotted a quick thought on paper, realized I didn't want to see it again, and quickly tossed it.

So I sit here on my couch with one of those funky pore strips glued to my schnoz, reveling in the total silence of my house. These moments are rare, but much welcome. Okay scratch all that, let's go back, I'm really not relaxing much at all; in fact, it feels like an angry velociraptor has been unleashed in my ladyparts. (If that's TMI for you, too bad, this is my blog, I'll describe my internal struggles as I see fit.) Just thought I'd set the scene for this "return of the blog" endeavor.

Anyway... I should probably touch base on Ty Guy since he was the last subject of my last public blog post. Tyler has been doing okay in kindergarten thus far. I'm not going to sugar coat it or lie and say "OMG my baby is simply STELLAR and a model student and he is having just the most wonderful year EVER" and gush and gush. Actually, it's been quite the roller coaster. I'll spare a lot of details for now because from September up until now, we have been down a multitude of avenues with regards to therapists, doctors, medications, frequent contact with his teachers, and I could go on. As of right now, he is socially doing pretty well for a kid of his character. He has plenty of friends, has been invited to classmates' birthday parties, and chats a lot about his classmates. Academically, he has his challenges. He does receive speech therapy still, and additional reading and math help outside of regular classroom time, but he has had some difficult days here and there. He tried to walk out of the school building in the middle of the day a few weeks back, which is a HUGE safety concern. Some days he shuts down and doesn't want to participate and will do what he can to divert focus from his lack of interest to a poor choice in behavior. Tomorrow we follow up with his pediatrician who initially started him on a low dosage of Adderall (that has been adjusted a couple times now) to see what else we can try or do as far as helping Tyler to be successful in school. I want him to do well (what parent doesn't want their child to succeed?) so we continue his journey and trial and error.

As far as the "transgender" issue... We still don't 100% know if Tyler is or is not. I have been going with the flow with him; he still loves and enjoys playing with typical girl toys. In fact, that was a majority of what his Christmas gifts consisted of and he couldn't have been happier. He asked us not to cut his hair so it has been growing out, but he still continues to wear typical boy clothing. Some days he has worn a tutu to school but because of his behavior issues, he has to earn that privilege. Many would argue that it might be cruel to use control over what he can and cannot wear as manipulation to promote more positive behavior choices, but for us it is working. Not only that, but although the kids in his class have been accepting of him, there are older kids in the school who do not accept a little boy in a tutu (I witnessed this when I ate lunch at school with Tyler a couple months ago) and so as we slowly try to make progress in teaching tolerance to these young kids, this is our best option right now. He has not expressed much further interest or desire to fully transition to being a girl, so again, we take it day by day and go with the flow and adjust things accordingly.

Jack and Noah are in the full swing of potty training! They have been doing pretty well, only a few accidents here and there but they have caught on and we are down to a Pull-Up at bedtime. Diaper days will pretty soon be a thing of the past... Although it's bittersweet to think I will never have "babies" again, I do look forward to this next chapter of our lives. Being able to do more things, trying them out in preschool again this coming fall, playing sports or doing other activities... It will be nice to have that little bit of added freedom. They are smart little cookies and listening to the two of them talk to each other during the day while Tyler is in school is quite entertaining! They have insanely different personalities but their twin dynamic is something else. I really enjoy watching them grow together.

As for me... Still at the Home Depot, but I started a new position this week. I am no longer working late nights on the freight team, but instead I have "gone toward the light" and I'm the store's "project specialist". (I have also been doing air quotes anytime anyone asks me about my new job... So I'm sure I either look like a dweeb, or perhaps it's a conversation enhancer and provides a smidgen of humor to my description.) Admittedly, I'm a bit intimidated by the aspects of my job right now (I've been doing oodles of computer training classes the past few days) but I think I will be able to hack it. It has already been nice to see and talk to more of my coworkers and get to know something different about the store besides working in the dark and most of the time, alone. I didn't honestly think I'd do much more other than freight or even that I'd be here a year later (yes, it's already been a whole year... 365 days at the Depot!) but it has been good.

So much for my blog post title (that I can't figure out how to edit) but this was more of an update than what I initially intended to ramble about. I guess I'll do that tomorrow. I have deactivated my Facebook account for the time being (I'll elaborate on that in my next post) so this blog, my Instagram, and Snapchat account are my social networking outlets for the time being. I need sleep; the velociraptor has drained me of my life force. Til later, I bid thee all adieu.